can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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