i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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