i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
