its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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