So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
