as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
