I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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