I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize