Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
