I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
