we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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