dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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