I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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