this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
this hospital has no fireball
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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