Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
