Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
