is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
