Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
