Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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