Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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