Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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