just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize