i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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