I got chris browned last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my being single is dangerous.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
