I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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