she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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