Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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