How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
