Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
