My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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