if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
