she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
