This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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