barbara walters just said penis...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize