oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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