go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
