and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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