Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
