haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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