Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
