I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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