I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
