I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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