WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
