Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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