Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
