I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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