You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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