remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
