i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
