did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
