What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
