So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
