How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
