I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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