Are we in a gay sports bar?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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