I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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