I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
