Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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