garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
