Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
