If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
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She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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